Porks Off!!

Mrs Beeton came over for dinner yesterday. I did the whole roast thing including Yorkshire pudds. It is always something of a trial when Mrs Beeton comes to dinner. She has very particular likes and dislikes. Unfortunately they tend to based on whatever is happening in the news. For example she is currently 'off' poultry, chicken and in particular turkey. My friends here in the UK will understand why, but for those of you who are not aware, it is down to the whole bird flu furor. Several years ago she gave up on beef, CJD was the culprit, just prior to that it was eggs because of salmonella, and then shellfish because someone told her that they 'store heavy metals', (she has no idea what heavy metal means or indeed where the shellfish keep their store). She spends her entire day glued to the news channel. The BBC of course, because no one else tells the truth!!!

So Back to the meal, I decided as beef, chicken, turkey, fish and eggs were off, I would serve Pork. So there I am serving up when I notice that Mrs Beeton doesn't have any pork on her plate. "You've forgotten to get some pork," I point out helpfully to her,

"Oh I don't eat pork," she replies munching on her carrots,

"what do you mean you don't eat pork, you've always eaten pork,"

"no, I don't eat it anymore, did you know that you get worms from pork!"

I was speechless, but I know better than to enter into an argument with her when she is in this mood. Then suddenly his Lordship came to the rescue, "we could rustle up some sausages... you like sausages don't you." She nodded enthusiastically.

A short time later Mrs Beeton was tucking into sausages, apparently they are not pork, they are sausages. It's a good job her Ladyship didn't decide to recount the story of when she discovered that sausages came from pigs, she was mid mouthful when Daddy, told her that they were pork, unfortunately she put two and two together and made.. well pigs willies. (She was only six at the time.)