Saturday, February 17, 2007

I CAN Perform Miracles.

Many moons ago I worked as an Educational Consultant. This required me to travel around primary schools in the area and roll out the 'new' attainment targets.

So I set off one wet and windy morning for my first appointment. I pulled into the parking area and headed for the reception. As I passed the playground I noticed a large message pinned to the fence.



Missing, Flopsy Houdini, the school rabbit.


If you have any information


Please contact reception.



Underneath the message was a picture, Flopsy in all it's loveliness, a handsome bunny resplendent in black and white coney fur and a blue leather collar. My meeting was brief as the school had come down with a dose of the sniffles and so most of the teachers were either off sick or in no mood to learn about attainment targets. So I gathered up my stuff and headed back to the car.
As I approached it, my eyes settled on the fluffy black and white bundle lying just to the side of the back wheel. Yes it was Flopsy Houdini. After checking it over I discovered that it was now the 'ex' Flopsy Houdini, it would appear that I had run it over as I was parking.

Oh my giddy aunt, I wasn't sure what to do next, I could put it next to the wheel of another car and drive away, letting someone else take the blame, (no I couldn't bring myself to do that, I'm a saint we have codes of practice). I could take it home and give it a decent send off in the back garden, (everyone would be none the wiser and at least it would have a resting place). I could come clean and tell the receptionist what had happened, (I'm sorry I was completely lilly livered and couldn't face the accusing glares of the children and teachers). So I came up with an alternative plan.

I quickly emptied one of my boxes and put the demised bunny into it. With it safely stowed in the boot I headed into town and the nearest pet shop. Yes my plan involved a switch. After trawling around most of the pet shops in the area without success the situation was looking bleak. Then almost at the end of my tether and the list in the yellow pages I found my 'golden fleece'. A perfect match no one would be any the wiser. So after buying a pet carrier and getting the collar onto Flopsy ll, I had it safely deposited on the back seat. Next stop the school.

They were overjoyed that I had 'found' their bunny, the children had been heartbroken. After much celebration and communal cuddling, the Flopsy doppelganger was put into a new high security hutch. My deed done I headed home and put the previous Flopsy into a cosy earthy bed. All's well that ends well!!

Not quite... a couple of weeks later I received a phone call from the Headmistress at the school.

I answered the phone, "hello there,"

"Hello St Jude, I was just wondering if you could help me out with a slight query?" she asked

"Certainly, fire away,"

"Flopsy?"

"Oh yes, and how is Flopsy?"

"Oh very well, in fact so well she has just given birth to seven babies, the children are over the moon, though it was a bit of a shock,"

"Little miracles happen," I replied cheerily

"They certainly do St Jude, Flopsy was a boy!" She replied dourly.

14 at confession:

Beth said...

So you killed a bunny and disposed of the evidence. For shame.
(True story?? I’m sorry, but I’m laughing…)
Your intentions were honourable — and no “good” deed goes unrewarded – lots of little bunnies for the children...

100 Words said...

It's that pesky law of averages again. You have a 50-50 chance of picking the right gender, and do you? Do you !£*%

Marymurtz said...

Priceless!

Chris Pittock said...

Another miricle sponsered by St. Jude. A good deed was done that day, shame about the gender though.

How did you explain it away?

Stinkypaw said...

You are too funny! What's the saying "No good deed goes unpunished"? ;-)

Pendullum said...

Givea whole new meaning to 'Flopsy Wospy had no HARE'

Nikki said...

good thing they weren't missing a puma. LOL

Beki said...

Well at least you didn't run one of the teachers over...

How's the novel writing going?

St Jude said...

Beth: I am ashamed to say that this is a true story ;0}

100 words: you'd think with the big one upstairs I'd have got some help!

Marymurtz: thank you.

Chris: I pleaded innocence and told the Head that I had found the pet carrier complete with bunny left on my doorstep :0)

Stinkypaw: I'm a saint, I'm sure I wouldn't be punished...

Pendullum: Urm!

Nikki: I can do pumas too. LOL

Beki: There's a thought. I'm working on a post about the novel, but suffice to say that I got sidetracked slightly with another project.

St Jude said...

Nikki: WHEN I SAID THAT I CAN DO PUMAS... I didn't mean, I'm blushing, that's sheep and Cardiff :0)

Dorky Dad said...

Hilarious. Hey, you're not Glenn Close, are you?

Rainman said...

So what did you say to her telling you it was a boy? "Ummm sorry Mum, I have another call holding. Talk to you later"

OK so now you have to Email me some details on the family history.

Nikki said...

St Jude....I got such a good chuckle out of that.

Thanks

St Jude said...

Dorky Dad: I ran him over, I didn't boil him. Glen Close, I wish.

Rainman: I could tell you but you know I might have to shoot you.

Nikki: Glad I gave you a smile.

 
A Tykes Progress. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino