We have another company do coming up. You'll forgive me if I don't sound too excited. You see I am something of a legend in the company, (the company in question is the very large international company that his Lordship works for).
The legend was born 9 years ago at another 'do'. Shortly after we moved to Kent, it was a rosy time and as with most things I was just having a bit of fun. It was towards the end of the evening, (well actually it was just before dawn), when some bright herbert decided to set up a challenge. The challenge in question involved going around a table, yes I know that sounds simple, but you actually start on top of the table and have to pass under it without touching the floor or letting go and get back onto the top of the table to finish, (now that's more like it).
Ok so you've guessed it. After watching several chaps of varying proportions attempt it and fail, the only successful candidate was of course the bright young herbert who had suggested it. Scanning the room for his Lordship he was no where to be seen, so with the family honour at stake, and I have to say being rather more pickled than I should have been, I rose to the challenge.
Now it is at this point I should perhaps mention that in hindsight I may not have been wearing the most appropriate clothing. Even if I do say so myself, I did cut a bit of a dash on the dance floor in my chic little cocktail dress and cubans. However when attempting to straddle a table, especially when you are a mere 5' 2", people may have got slightly more than they bargained for!
That said, with an Olympian effort and a gallant gentleman covering my blushes with his jacket, I did it. To much applause and possibly the chagrin of some of the less successful chaps I made my exit and went to bed. It had been a memorable night... or so I am told, repeatedly, in fact at every event since.
And so that is why I am not completely at ease about the up coming 'do'. I just know that the legend will at some point in the proceedings be recounted much to the amusement of all concerned. So I have decided that from now on I am going to approach this with a rather more seasoned view. When the next person asks are you the lady who is legendary in the table event, being the demure lady that I am, I will smile sweetly and reply;
"It wasn't me. You must have mistaken me for my twin sister."
Agent Starling eat your heart out.
2 hours ago