Mrs Beeton's Pickle

We are back on the road tonight. This time we will be staying with the Fat Controller and Mrs Beeton, aka his Lordships' parents. Both in their eighties and a bit set in their ways, they are something of an institution. During our journey there will be the umpteen calls to check on our progress and also to see if we would like a ham sandwich when we arrive, (which, in the 28years they have known me is an offer I have never taken up, but then you do have to admire their persistence).

Like many people of their age they do on occasions struggle with 'new technology', they have freeview, a Christmas present from the one before last, however it doesn't appear to be working, we still only get the delights of BBC1, 2 and ITV1, apparently Channel 4 is full of rubbish and Channel 5 never made it that far.

Then there is the latest saga of the laptop, kindly given to the Fat Controller by his Lordships sister. It has internet access, but only dial up, so we explained that they can't use their phone whilst on the internet. Unfortunately Mrs Beeton hasn't quite figured this whole thing out yet, which, is not surprising as she is still trying to get to grips with the TV remote. (Mind you nobody gets to grips with the remote while the Fat Controller is around.)

After several conversations re; the use of the washing machine, hoover and microwave whilst the Fat Controller is on the internet, I thought I had got the message across, it's only the phone you can't use. Then the phone call yesterday afternoon.

"Hello it's only me, (Mrs Beeton), just checking the phone is working, we're having a problem with it."

"Oh what sort of problem?" I enquired.

"Well it's working sometimes and then others it isn't, it keeps making funny noises when I try to phone someone, but don't worry, I've called BT and they are sending an engineer out on Friday."

Oh good. I just hope he has a sense of humour.