Wednesday, January 25, 2006

One Small Step for Man.. (in this case woman).

Isn't this exciting. The start of a new day, (well it is if you're a teenager), and the start of a new blog.

After nearly ten years of living in exile in the South East of England we are now heading north again, back to Gods own County. And not a minute too soon if the conversation I overheard in Morrisons the other day is anything to go by. I was standing in the queue waiting to pay when two women, neither particularly old, sparked up a conversation.

(When I say sparked up a conversation I don't mean they had just met in the queue, they don't do that sort of thing down here, it's taboo to talk to anyone at bus stops, in queues, or to shop assistants, definitely not shop assistants, in fact they don't talk to anyone. They are taught to ignore the customer for as long as possible, the preferred method being the back to front approach. If I can't see you then you aren't there. Of course they are allowed to talk to other assistants, this is in actual fact very much encouraged, preferred subjects being, boyfriends, food, friends fashion/boyfriend sense or lack of it, etc. Oh and of course chewing gum is mandatory.)

Sorry, we were in Morrisons weren't we. Well the conversation went along the following lines;

"What do you think to this supermarket then?" 1st lady.

"Well it's alright for the basics but I prefer Sainsburys myself." 2nd lady.

(By the way I should point out that Morrisons is new in the South since they took over Safeway.)

"Yes I know what you mean, although Tescos is quite good as well. But of course you have to understand that this company is from the north and, they don't have anything better."

"Really, you mean they don't have Sainsburys or Waitrose." 2nd lady.

"No." 1st lady.

I have to say at this point I was on the verge of collapsing with laughter.

(By the way if you are one of those ladies or indeed one of those who have not ventured north for fear of being put into a pot and boiled alive by the heathen hoards, yes we do have waitrose, sainsburys, tesco and oh yes we also have a Harvey Nichols which is in Leeds, recently known as the Knightsbridge of the north.)

I suppose in their defence we do live in a rural area. I shouldn't have been surprised, it only took my village post master 8 years to decide that I obviously wasn't a tourist so yipee, now I don't have to wait for the villagers to be served before me no more being bumped to the back of the queue. Unfortunately the village store isn't so progressive in it's thinking, but I'll keep working on that one.

0 at confession:

A Tykes Progress. Design by Exotic Mommie. Illustraion By DaPino