Thursday, May 11, 2006

Oh Pooh!! (Caution, if you are eating, finish before you read this.)

On Sunday afternoon we had a storm of monsoon proportions.


After the rain had stopped his Lordship and I went outside to enjoy the post storm sun. And above is the sight that greeted us. Our garden had become a lake... we stood on the decking watching as the water rose.

Eventually the entire garden was submerged in four inches of water. It came bubbling up from the manhole cover in the back garden.

That was Sunday!

Today is Thursday! For the last four and a half days I have endured, the increasing stench of RAW SEWAGE, yes, RAW SEWAGE, all manner of unmentionable waste products floating about merrily in my back garden. As the temperatures have begun to soar over the past couple of days those nasty little pongy, whiffy organisms that enjoy this muck have begun to breed, and there is now a thick coating of frothy slime, seeping under the deck and hiding in corners. So what I am doing about it? Well so far three different teams of men have turned up, each has tried in vain to sort out the blockage. If another workman stands in my back garden scratching his chin and sighing, I will personally christen him in my new lake.

After much poking, prodding, sighing, tutting and some investigation, they have discovered that the main drain has collapsed down the road, some eighty metres away. Now forgive me for being a little crude here, but when I've completed my 'ablutions', I flush and move on. I do not expect to see the aforementioned deposits again. So it is somewhat disconcerting to have several burly chaps wading around and poking around in, well, my more intimate doings. I am not sure however that I take any solace in the fact that they are probably indistinguishable from those of the other dozen or so households whose 'doings' are now frequenting my garden.

They have assured me that they will clean up my garden and replace the paving etc. When, well that is entirely another matter. It is already 22 degrees and it is not yet mid morning. There I shall leave you, thankfully, not with the pungent aroma of sewer that is currently seeping through my home.

17 at confession:

Kate said...

Uurgh! How horrible. That's not the kind of water feature you want.

Keeping my fingers crossed it will be gone very soon.

Rhonda said...

Now, that's a pond I don't want to be on the other side of. Ugh. I'm sorry.

Having had our own personal sewer crisis last year, you have my unbending sympathies.

Charlie said...

After much poking, prodding, sighing, tutting and some investigation . . .

You have the same workmen we do.

As a dutiful wife, I believe it is your duty to blame everything on your husband. Never mind that he had nothing to do with the pipe collapse--it was his fault.

I feel badly for you, but also for your garden and natural wildlife. They cannot be very happy, either.

And be glad that we don't still live in the Middle Ages.

Nikki said...

Oh St Jude. I'm so sorry. It must be aweful.

Sven said...

I know how you feel. We had a similar experiece last fall although the offending matter appeared not in our garden but in our basement.

joss said...

Hells bells what an untimely mess. I can't even begin to ponder your predicament. I really do hope it gets sorted out sooner rather than later.

St Jude said...

Thanks everyone.

Well they've managed to sort out the problem, but I still have a garden full of sewage. apparently they are coming first thing in the morning to remove the 'garden' and then disinfect it and replace it with new stuff. That should be interesting.

Sven: in you basement :(

Poopie: unfortunately his Lordship was only here for Sunday night. He's been away ever since!!!

Kate & Rhonda: I think I'll go for a nice trickling water fall next time.

Nikki: thanks.

Joss: nice to 'see' you, thanks for stopping by.

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

eeugh. I would ordinarily consider such easy access to stool samples as good luck, for they may contain the eggs of other transmission stages of many interesting parasites. However, on this occasion I offer my sympathies (please do not offer to post anything up here either)

Dr Joseph McCrumble said...

'or other transmission stages'

St Jude said...

Dr Joseph Mc: aw, I would happily have tupperwared it and sent it special delivery. That would have given the post man something to think about.

Attila The Mom said...

uh, you know this kind of begs the question...

How did you happen to recognize your own *doings*? ;-)

St Jude said...

Attila: It could have been the lacey pink toilet paper it was wrapped in.;0)

Cherrypie said...

You poor thing. I had a similar crisis a few months ago but fortunately it was easily remedied by my dad and 32 drain rods.

Hope you're out of the pink lace-wrapped stuff soon x

joss said...

Hello again St Jude I have come back for another read :) Hey I even linked you too. Oh and while I was here I erm pinched your little icon as I collect such "cheese cake art" I do hope things are somewhat fresher at your end?

Beki said...

Oh, I feel so sorry for you :o(

I won't try and imagine the smell if you don't mind!

St Jude said...

cherrypie: 32 drain rods :0{

Joss: you are welcome to visit anytime, and thank you for the link.

Beki: Smelly vision would definitely not have been the preferred option on this occasion.

dormerportal said...

So is it the council that are responsible for all this? Are they going to cover the cost of fixing it and your garden too - by the way, have they replaced your garden yet? Am intrigued

 
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