Thursday, November 05, 2009

I Smell

I normally like to pride myself on my personal hygiene and grooming. I don't like to leave home without a little squirt of something pretty behind my ears.

I am concious that eau de perspire is not the most welcoming fragrance.  In my line of work it is a daily occurance to walk into a room only to be greeted by an overwhelming odour of unwashed clothes and bodies. Now don't get me wrong, it is not a prerequisite of the morally challenged to have poor personal hygiene.

There are however other smells that linger around the offices in which I work. Rather pungent and sweet the unmistakable aroma of bud, weed, skunk, marujiana and whatever else you may wish to call it. I often find myself sitting in interview rooms with my eyes watering the smell is so overpowering. The worst thing is that it lingers, it seals itself inside your nostrils, it hangs in your hair, it clings to your clothes.

Not the best thing to happen just before a visit to Head Office when you have to travel by train. What do they have in train stations? Yes sniffer dogs. Thanks to one of my morally challenged bods I was today given a rather intense pat down and search curtesy of the local transport police. They ingnored my protestations of innocence, they ignored the fact that they didn't find anything incriminating on me, they ignored the fact that I am a fellow professional, I had my ID on me, quite simply the pooch never lies... his nose said that I was guilty.

I was guilty, I did indeed smell of the sickly weed, but the lovely plods on the station could simply not comprehend that in my line of work it is not uncommon to be 'contaminated' by such means. It took several telephone calls, which finally culminated in my Chief Officer contacting their Chief Officer who then radioed the plods to demand they release me and apologise. They grudgingly did so and I continued on my journey.

Ho hum, what was waiting for me on the platform at my journeys end... you've guessed, yet another pooch with a fascinating attraction to little old me.

(By the way did you know that there are several different spellings of Marujiana, Marijuana, Marugiana.... it's true, depends where you live, apparantly! )  Ok sorry simple things.

9 at confession:

Maggie May said...

Wherever do you work?
I wouldn't know what any of that stuff smells like!

Nuts in May

Stinkypaw said...

Too funny! Since we've moved back into town, I've never walked through so many clouds of weeds as I do now... I'm always amazed how nonchalent people are about these things...

It's stressful to be sniffed by those pooches, isn't it? Happened once in Hawaii but it was because of a banana in my carry-on - they have strict laws over there about "imports", hee

Kevin Musgrove said...

This is one of the hazards of bus transport round here, despite the "No Smoking" signs that litter everything. The number of times I'm come home with a thumping headache on account of some wretch's second-hand smoke...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Good grief! What in the world do you do? I'm dying to know where you work!

I quit smoking it 11 years ago and I probably still reek!



Jimmy Bastard said...

I'm morally shocked at this candid disclosure of your arrest at the hands of the polis. I shall now have to think long and hard about my association with such a high profile criminal drug lordess.

Amusingly enough, your word verification for this comment is "pong-in-me"

St Jude said...

Maggie May - unfortunately I can't disclose what I do for a living, they would close me down, hence annonymous blogging.

Stinkypaw - I'll remember Hawaii and bananas don't mix ;0)

Kevin - The buses in the part of town where I work all have the air conditioning on year round to try and get rid of the smell.

GEM - I'd love to divulge but as I told Maggie May!

Jimmy B - Guilty by association. I think secretly the word verification has a sense of humour.

Kim Ayres said...

You're just going to have to give up your sideline of dealing

Chief said...

you forgot my favorite "weed"!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Charlie said...

The good news is, if you were a real pothead you could get away with it--as long as you weren't carrying.

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