Sunday, September 13, 2009

Lazy Sunday

Well guess what I have been doing today? READING.. for pleasure in my lofty study. Hmm.

So as I am otherwise entertained I have posted the original 'Cultural Exercise' as some of you are new around here and have not had the pleasure. I am currently working on another which will be posted shortly.

This is a follow up to a comment I made on my friend Atilla's post 'What a Boob' .

A Little Cultural Exercise
In the interests of cultural science and as an experiment in political correctness I headed off to Sainsburys, my local supermarket, and marched up to the meat counter. The conversation went as follows:

"Hello there, I'd like a couple of those chicken boobs please?"

"Erm sorry Madam?" the young man behind the counter coughed nervously.

"A couple of those chicken boobs, please," I said pointing at the nice plump mound of chicken flesh.

He eyed me suspiciously before answering, "You'd like two chicken breasts madam?"

"Yes dear, that's what I said, a couple of chicken boobs," I winked.

The nice young man behind the counter stepped back a little as he reached for his tongs.

"Actually dear, could you make them large ones. I'm entertaining tonight."

"Er yes madam," he picked up a nice plump chicken 'boob' and put it into the bag. Then he started to pick up another, still watching me from the corner of his eye.

"Sorry to be a nuisance, but could you possibly make them the same size please, I prefer a good 'balance',"

Yes that was definitely the turning point. His hand slid under the counter and within a couple of minutes a rather large butcher, replete with bloodstained pinney and chopper appeared from the backroom door.

"Please step away from the counter Madam." I obeyed, of course. "Do we appear to be having a problem here?" he enquired nervously, chopper at the ready.

I suddenly felt a 'presence' at my side, "You're for it now... Chicken boobs!" someone whispered in my ear. I turned to find an elderly gentleman who had been behind me in the queue.

"Back off Grandad, this is a serious experiment in social etiquette."

"Yeh, that's what I used to tell the wife. I'd watch the big one, he asn't got a sense of humour missus."

extracting myself from the riveting conversation with the elderly chap, I returned my attention to the butcher. "No," I replied demurely, "I'm being served thank you."

"What was it you were after?" he asked huffily

" Chicken boobs, but it's quite all right your young man there has it all in hand thank you." I replied cheerily.

Well suffice to say the experiment had to be suspended at that point as a somewhat unamused butcher accompanied by a very nice young security guard escorted me to the door. My protests of a very serious miscarriage of judgment on their part and claims of saintly standing did not wash. Even when I explained that I was conducting a very serious experiment on behalf of the renowned Attila Institute in the Rockies, they were having none of it.

So there you have it, a cultural experiment in cross species political correctness. Just remember in future we are definitely not 'birds', it would appear there is slightly more political correctness surrounding their 'breasts'.

This is St Jude Mmr, Cjd, Nut, Dip Py, until my next assignment, signing off.

For more 'Cultural Exercises' follow the link below.

11 at confession:

Beth said...

Big smile here!
I admire your chutzpah.
So, what did you have for dinner? ;)

(Attila must be so proud...)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'm so glad you're not a vegetarian! You're like a breath of fresh air!


Wandering Coyote said...

Oh, that is so funny! My mom & I always call chicken breasts "chicken boobs!" I can't believe those Sainsbury's dudes were so serious about it!

Stinkypaw said...

Some people need to get a sense of humour, really.

Pete said...

lol, have you written to head office?

Charlie said...

"The renowned Attila Institute in the Rockies."

That woman can get anyone in trouble while she hides in the mountains and laughs at us.

One of your best pieces, Saint.

I thought "bird" went out of style in England, but Jimmy B. in Scotland still calls women "hen."

St Jude said...

Beth - I'm full of Chutzpah!!! We ended up having Pigs nether's.. sausages, but that's another story.

Momster - thank you hun, I do my best.

Coyote - Go.. you and your mum, I think I'd like your mum.

Stinkypaw - Humour by pass was never my favourite surgical technique.

Pete - They never replied.. do know why?

Charlie - I have long blamed our friend Attila for getting me into all manner of trouble.

Jimmy never calls me hen, just doll, but he could call me hen anyday, it is an endearing term coming from such a lovely man.

Meg said...

Hehe. My husband always writes "chicken boobies" on the grocery list. How brave of you to attempt political incorrectness.

Madame DeFarge said...

Clearly some people have no sense of humour. I'm proud of your attempts to bring levity to sainsbury's

Kim Ayres said...

Will you be getting some minced cow arse for tonight's dinner then?...

St Jude said...

Meg - I like your husband's style.

Madame DF - Sainsburys can be a tad stuffy at times.

Kim - Whoa I'm honoured...Mr Mega Blogger, only kidding, I know you still pick your nose and scratch your bum. Alas after scouring the meat shelves I couldn't find any 'cows arse', minced or otherwise.

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